On the evening of August 7, 2002 my family was struck by a horrible tragedy. My younger cousin (19), who was more like a little brother to me, hung himself. My family and I have since been put through feelings that were once unimaginable to us. The psychologists tell me that the emotional scars may stay with me for the rest of my life.

At the funeral service I read his eulogy which was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. A poem was also read which has a lot of messages that we can all learn from. Many people have since asked for a copy of the poem. I would also like to share this poem with you. I am not writing this to get sympathy, but as a reminder to us all to remember what's really important in life and to appreciate each other as much as we can.

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you walk out the door
I would give you a hug and a kiss
and call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise
I would video tape each action and word
so I could play them back day after day

If I knew it would be the last time
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more
So I can let just this one slip away

For surely there's always tomorrow
To make up for an oversight
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right

There will always be another day
to say "I love you"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong
and today is all I get
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone
young or old alike
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight

So if you're waiting for it tomorrow
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes
surely you'll regret the day

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone
what turned out to be their one last wish

So hold your loved ones close today
and whisper in their ear
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry"
"Please forgive me" "Thank you," or "It's Okay"
And if tomorrow never comes
you'll have no regrets about today

posted August 22, 2002 08:43 PM            

Grieving a loss, especially one of this nature, takes time but with the support of your family(including your sailing family)you'll get through it... just be sure to give it the time it needs.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.