Lives

 

 

I.

 

O the enormous avenues of the Holy Land, the temple terraces! What has

become of the Brahman who explained the proverbs to me? Of that time, of

that place, I can still see even the old women! I remember silver hours

and sunlight by the rivers, the hand of the country on my shoulder and

our carresses standing on the spicy plains.-- A flight of scarlet pigeons

thunders round my thoughts. An exile here, I once had a stage on which to

play all the masterpieces of literature. I would show you unheard-of

riches. I note the story of the treasures you discovered. I see the

outcome. My wisdom is as scorned as chaos. What is my nothingness to the

stupor that awaits you?

 

 

II.

 

I am the inventor more deserving far than all those who have preceeded

me; a musician, moreover, who has discovered something like the key of

love. At present, a country gentleman of a bleak land with a sober sky, I

try to rouse myself with the memory of my beggar childhood, my

apprenticeship or my arrival in wooden shoes, of polemics, of five or six

widowings, and of certain convivalities when my level head kept me from

rising to the diapason of my comrades. I do not regret my old portion of

divine gaiety: the sober air of this bleak countryside feeds vigorously

my dreadful skepticism. But since this skepticism cannot, henceforth be

put to use, and since, moreover, I am dedicated to a new torment,-- I

expect to become a very vicious madman.

 

 

III.

 

In a loft, where I was shut in when I was twelve, I got to know the

world, I illustrated the human comedy. I learned history in a wine

cellar. In a northern city, at some nocturnal revel, I met all the women

of the old masters. In an old arcade in Paris, I was taught the classical

sciences. In a magnificent dwelling encircled by the entire Orient, I

accomplished my prodigious work and spent my illustrious retreat. I

churned up my blood. My duty has been remitted. I must not even think of

that anymore. I am really from beyond the tomb, and no commissions.